Although I’ve seen doctors in the past, I’ve not been very good with scheduling visits for preventative care. As a healthy woman, in my thirties, I didn’t need preventative care.
I knew that was a lie. In fact, in 2017 following a well woman exam I was diagnosed as a pre-diabetic and told to make some lifestyle changes. Three years later, even though I thought I was living a healthier lifestyle, I received an urgent call from the laboratory with results of lab work I had completed through my health insurance. They urged me to go see a primary care provider. My fasting blood sugar was over 250.
I did not schedule that appointment. Clearly I knew what needed to be done to prevent becoming diabetic. In my desk I had the informational handouts and pamphlets. So I took matters into my own hands. I changed my diet and I became more active. Looking back, it’s obvious that it was fear and uncertainty that caused me to wait to schedule a wellness appointment. Now a year later after losing weight and feeling like I had made tremendous improvement to my lifestyle and diet, I was ready to see a doctor.
I was ready for validity. Now was the time to show my husband, and myself, that all my hard work had paid off. I had lost some weight, I was tracking my diet and exercise. Unfortunately, validity wasn’t what I received. And in the back of my mind I probably knew what the outcome would be. Even though I had good intentions, the cold of winter had kept me from taking my regular walks and made it a little bit easier to sit on the couch with a bag of chips.
When I received the news, news I dreaded, news I feared, news that left me in disbelief, I was devastated. I couldn’t hide it anymore, I hadn’t been making good choices. Stress and lack of self-care had taken over my life. Being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes wasn’t the shock, as a kid I vividly remember my grandmother giving herself shots of insulin. My mother and paternal grandmother also received type 2 diabetes diagnosis. So, it was almost inevitable that this day would come. The shock was receiving my diagnosis of type 2 diabetes at 34 years old.
I don’t remember which emotion hit me first when I received the call with my A1C results. Maybe they all hit at once, sadness, fury, anxiety, guilt, shame. I wish I could say I held it all together and knew exactly what to do. I didn’t and what I did know to do I resisted with vengeance. Denial is a strange beast. What changes I had made were out the door, I suppressed the news of my diagnosis and told myself I would get it together “next week”.
I am not sure how many weeks went by, four, five, maybe even six, when the pharmacy called again reminding me to pick up my blood glucose monitor and prescription . That is when I decided to face reality. It would be a few more months before I became fully accepting of my diagnosis and a few more months when I finally felt I was headed in the right direction.
I realize most people don’t have a few months to turn their life around and make improvements to their diet and exercise. That is why it is so important to know that diabetes does not define who you are or what you are capable of doing. Having diabetes is about introducing healthy habits, many habits that we have known we should be doing but due to self neglect and the craziness of life, we have put them on the back burner.
Diabetes has opened my eyes, created drive and motivation to make good choices and simple changes so I can continue to live a fabulous life.
What was your biggest struggle as a newly diagnosed Type 2 Diabetic?